"Happy?"
"Yes, happy.. a feeling that we feel joy with it." He smiles, imagining the feeling.
"Actually I don't know what's happy. I was happy but I'm not happy."
"Why?" he asks gently.
" You know, when I was 11, all of my dreams were destroyed. That's when my mother died. She left me in loneliness, cause Dad always busy with his work.." I look deep to the front, trying to flashback all the memories. Jonathan just keep quiet, waiting for me to continue.
"The next year, Dad found his new beloved wife. And then that kid," I point at Joshua "was born. And that's why I changed my perception of Dad. He never cares of me like he's forgetting that he has a daughter here. Am I useless??" Tears are drowning my eyes.
"No, but.."
"But what?? He never asks me what I like and what I don't. He knows nothing about me.What he only cares are Stacy and Joshua! And what about me?!"
I don't care what Jonathan thinks about me. All I care is his responses. All of a sudden, he strokes my head with his gentle hand.
"It's alright. You had do the best.It's alright.. Just let it all out.." Tears are falling down to my cheeks. I can't stand it anymore. All of my struggle goes little by little with the tears.
"Know what? Sometime we don't see something precious in front of us. We are too busy thinking of our sadness."
"Hurmm?"
"What about else? Don't you think of their feelings looking you act like this?" He starts to slow talk with me. "It's nothing big. Just look at Joshua.. don't you think he will be as sad as you? He too would feel abandoned by his only sister. That's you, Marya!"
His word is like a knife that stabs my heart. I look at Joshua. Yes..he's pure, an innocent boy. He does nothing wrong but I.. Again more tears are falling down from iris. Why don't I realise all of this time? Why?? Gently, Jonathan hugs me. I feel relief. I really need that hug right now. Something I must hanging on. I can feel the warmth of his body. He then wipes my tears away with his thumbs.
"Right now, I just want you to know that you can find love and happiness.. if you open your eyes widely and pay attention with things around you." I nod and nod. Yes, he's right, absolutely.
"And I think you should talk with your Mom. I mean your second Mom. Shan't you?"
"For what?"
"Maybe, you can find something that will make you happy as your Mom did before. I can see her eyes that wanna know 'bout you more."
I smile and laugh a bit. He talks like he knows everything.
"How did you know? Are you a fortune-teller?"
"Hmm.. maybe?" We burst out laugh together. Joshua also smiles to see us like that. He really resembles Jonathan. Their smile.. rose-coloured lips, white neat teeth and the dimple on left side. I feel like I'm having two lovely brothers now. Haha!
"Yes, happy.. a feeling that we feel joy with it." He smiles, imagining the feeling.
"Actually I don't know what's happy. I was happy but I'm not happy."
"Why?" he asks gently.
" You know, when I was 11, all of my dreams were destroyed. That's when my mother died. She left me in loneliness, cause Dad always busy with his work.." I look deep to the front, trying to flashback all the memories. Jonathan just keep quiet, waiting for me to continue.
"The next year, Dad found his new beloved wife. And then that kid," I point at Joshua "was born. And that's why I changed my perception of Dad. He never cares of me like he's forgetting that he has a daughter here. Am I useless??" Tears are drowning my eyes.
"No, but.."
"But what?? He never asks me what I like and what I don't. He knows nothing about me.What he only cares are Stacy and Joshua! And what about me?!"
I don't care what Jonathan thinks about me. All I care is his responses. All of a sudden, he strokes my head with his gentle hand.
"It's alright. You had do the best.It's alright.. Just let it all out.." Tears are falling down to my cheeks. I can't stand it anymore. All of my struggle goes little by little with the tears.
"Know what? Sometime we don't see something precious in front of us. We are too busy thinking of our sadness."
"Hurmm?"
"What about else? Don't you think of their feelings looking you act like this?" He starts to slow talk with me. "It's nothing big. Just look at Joshua.. don't you think he will be as sad as you? He too would feel abandoned by his only sister. That's you, Marya!"
His word is like a knife that stabs my heart. I look at Joshua. Yes..he's pure, an innocent boy. He does nothing wrong but I.. Again more tears are falling down from iris. Why don't I realise all of this time? Why?? Gently, Jonathan hugs me. I feel relief. I really need that hug right now. Something I must hanging on. I can feel the warmth of his body. He then wipes my tears away with his thumbs.
"Right now, I just want you to know that you can find love and happiness.. if you open your eyes widely and pay attention with things around you." I nod and nod. Yes, he's right, absolutely.
"And I think you should talk with your Mom. I mean your second Mom. Shan't you?"
"For what?"
"Maybe, you can find something that will make you happy as your Mom did before. I can see her eyes that wanna know 'bout you more."
I smile and laugh a bit. He talks like he knows everything.
"How did you know? Are you a fortune-teller?"
"Hmm.. maybe?" We burst out laugh together. Joshua also smiles to see us like that. He really resembles Jonathan. Their smile.. rose-coloured lips, white neat teeth and the dimple on left side. I feel like I'm having two lovely brothers now. Haha!
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