I wake up. Mom sleeps beside me while Dad sleeps on the sofa. I know they really love me and I love them too. But... why must my sister die? Why? I had built the machine, I had go back to the past and I.. had change the fate. The fate that she died. But why it's still the same in the end? It's just like I'm not doing anything. It is so tragic.
"Mom..mom..." I wake her up.
"Yes, my son?"
"I want to go home...now." Tears stuck in my eyes. I can't stay here any longer.
"Okay, I'll tell Dad. Wait a minute." She wakes Dad up and discuss with him. I stare at the morning sky through the window. But I find nothing except an emptiness.
*******
I walk into Marya's room. I want to find something precious, something meaningful that she might left before she died. I want to know the reason of her suicide. I'm burning of curiosity.
I look around and fortunately, I find a light-blue box under her bed. It's dusty. I take it out and sit on the bed. I don't know why my hands are shaking and my heart beats faster.
I open it. And there.. is a beautiful, purple-coloured diary. I take it out slowly but something drops from it onto the floor. I bend down and pick it up. But it makes my heart skips a beat. W-why does my student identity card is here? In Marya's diary?? Did she knew 'bout me???
Immediately, I flip the diary pages by pages, finding clues about her suicide. My hand stopped. There, I find something that caught my eyes.
17 April 2013
Today is a mystery day. I was surprised. A young guy- I think his age is same with me- faint in front of my house. He is a good-looking guy with brown hair and a tall, tough body. He called me Marya. I don't know how he knows my name. But when I asked him, he said that it is his sister's name. I was so ashamed. Quickly, I jump to my bed. Oh! And his name is Jonathan.
18 April 2013
I had a bad dream. I fall to a dungeon desert. When I woke up, I saw Jonathan and Joshua playing at the home compound. But what's really meaningful to me.. he knew 'bout the problems inside my heart. He can read my mind, that I fell into his beautiful words. He gave me strength and courage to speak up with Stacy. To build a good relationship between my family.
I think... he had stole my heart. He had built a wonderful colourful garden deep inside here. I think I.. I love him. Is this a first-sight love? But he has to go tomorrow.. Can't he stay a little bit longer?
I'm shocked. I feel like something happened to my heart. She..loved me? I keep on reading.
19 April 2013
Yesterday night was a bloody night. And that blood was Jonathan's. He.. he got into an accident, cause he saved my life. He saved me from being hit by the truck. I feel like the blame was on me cause I'm the one who should been hit. And the worst is, he's gone. He's gone from my side. I was at sixes and sevens when he disappeared in a blink of eyes, but I don't care anymore. The point is..he had left me.
In the interim, I figured out that his rel name is Joshua Morgan. It is same with my brother. But I don't want to believe in it until I find the truth and proves. I'll wait for you, Jonathan!
I flip on more pages to find important clues. So, she knew about my real name just after I left her?
4 November 2023
It's been a decade after Jonathan was gone. By the time, I found something weird.It's about my little brother who is 15 years old now. And when I look deeply in him, I think of Jonathan. His brown hair, hazel eyes, rose-bright lips and his behaviour are just akin to Jonathan. After I think and think, can I make a conclusion that Jonathan is Joshua's future? No! Don't make it true.
I've been losing sleep thinking bout this. If it's true... arghhhhh!!
The diary slipped from my hands. I am trembling. There is no more diary after that. if this is the end, the culprit will be..
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